You Missed Your Stop

http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/toystory3/

The more I see, the more I like. Just when I think Pixar couldn't get any more EPIC (in RE the Best Picture nod for 'Up', only the 3rd animated film to be nominated for the award after Snow White 1937 and Beauty and the Beast 1992), they go and do something like this. I didn't feel too optimistic about this 3rd installment in the Toy Story saga, but this new HD trailer is hysterical. Check it out.

In the next few days I plan on seeing each of the 10 best picture nominees, so look for a report on that.

*Up for Best Picture*

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've actually had to get a new computer recently because my old one died.

Without further ado, it's February 1st, WHICH MEANS ONLY ONE THING-- January is over. January is the worst movie month of the year, it's the month where the studio execs release all of their movies that made them say "so much for that $50 million". January used to share these rights with August, but then people realized that good movies can still come out because it's still summer. Anyway, here are my final rankings for WORST MOVIE OF JANUARY 2010!

5. Extraordinary Measures

Mostly for the casting combo of Brendan Fraser and Harrison Ford, 'Measures' sounds absolutely God-awful. However, the fact that it's based on a true story about cancer makes me feel kind of guilty for giving it a higher (or lower, for that matter) ranking on this list. At any rate, $6 million at the box office its first week and a half should speak for itself. I would rather eat paint chips than watch this movie.

The Numbers:

30% on RT Tomatometer

$6mil box office

4. When in Rome

Kristen Bell was on the way up in Hollywood, but then she did a movie with the collective sinking ship that is Will Arnet, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, and Danny DeVito. 'When in Rome' is about a woman... who goes to Rome, and is 'fed up' with love. Surprise. She finds a fountain and mistakenly steals a magical coin from it, and then attracts the love of the several 'suitors', all mentioned above. Imagining any of those men in any kind of romantic setting is enough to make me... I don't know. Anyway, when Josh Duhamel arrives (I feel like he has become a go-to actor for January cast listings), Kristen Bell can't decide if this love is part of the curse or the real thing. I would rather drink a bottle of Nyquil and Dayquil at the same time than pay to see this movie.

The Numbers

20% RT Tomatometer

$12.5mil box office

3. The Tooth Fairy

The Rock-- check. Combat boots-- check. Embarrassing fish-out-of-water fantasy comedy tale storyline-- check. Obnoxious tagline involving dated expression and play on words-- CHECK. 'The Tooth Fairy' has been a longtime favorite for the crown in this race, but has lost out to a few more deserving competitors. Bottom line, we've come to expect this crap from The Rock, plus I get the feeling that this movie doesn't take itself as seriously as the next two. With that said, I would rather wear male Uggz than see this movie.

The Numbers

15% on RT Tomatometer

$26mil box office

2. Legion

This movie slipped in under the radar, but a last minute ad-sweep involving a trailer with people crawling around like retarded spiders and the poster above with an angel holding an uzi have convinced me that this has got to be one of the worst movies of the year. Watch the trailer at http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/legion/. If you're still not convinced, it has Dennis Quaid and Tyrese in it. I would rather eat the OLD Dominos pizza than watch this movie.

The Numbers

19% RT Tomatometer

$28mil box office 

1. The Spy Next Door

Jackie Chan. Billy Ray Cyrus. George Lopez. It's become easy to pick on Jackie, so I feel bad but he's honestly asking for it with this one. A US government spy is asked to babysit the kids next door. When one of them unlocks a secret government code, the Feds come after them and it's up to Jackie Chan to stop them. Note the tagline: "Spying is easy. Babysitting is hard." I would rather have Jackie Chan be my actual babysitter than watch this movie.

The Numbers

8% RT Tomatometer

$18mil Box Office

I saw this today at Barnes & Noble and it made me laugh:

There's nothing particularly funny about the Sarah Michelle Gellar collection. She's nothing special but every actor has their fanbase. What made it funny was the sale sticker that the people at Barnes & Noble put on the box said "The DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar Collection".

THE DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar Collection. It is DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar. If you want to see Sarah Michelle Gellar in her finest form, get THE DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar Collection.

It's that time in October (and by that I mean November), and that means the Yankees are fingering themselves at the thought of adding yet another world series to their collection. According to New York gossip column PageSix, the wives and girlfriends of several Yankees have been asked to keep quiet about Kate Hudson. The blonde film star has been going out with A-Rod for roughly a year now and has been pissing off the rest of the Bronx Bombshells ever since with her idiotic antics in the Groupie VIP Box and her moronic celebrations in light of A-Rod's performances on-field. The tension between her and the rest of the Yankee (club)housewives has reached a point where the Yankee organization has specifically asked the women to not comment to any journalists of any kind... but I'll still write about it.

It is in writing. Adrien Brody is set to star in Robert Rodriguez's remake of 'Predator'. You read it right. The film is slated for a release THIS JULY-- I know, it happened fast. For those of you who don't know, Arnold Schwarzennegger played the lead in the original film. Miscast? Probably. Brody is probably one of the puniest-looking actors in Hollywood-- honestly, I think Aaron Carter may have kicked his ass back in the sixth grade. Not only is this dude lanky and weak looking, he is starring in a remake of a film that originally starred Ahnuld, Carl Weathers, and Jesse Ventura. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the other names in that trio, let's just say they did their share of roids. These guys were so jacked and tan in that movie, they probably couldn't get a successful erection for 2 years after its release. The only thing that makes sense about this casting call is the fact that Brody once did a Roman Polanski film and is now set to be in a movie called 'Predator'.

It's a rare treat that I get to talk about Jennifer Aniston and Moses in the same breath, but here it is. 20th Century Fox have acquired the rights to a retelling of the story of Moses. Disturbingly enough, the studio have used the term "300 style" to describe the way in which the film will be shot. As a big fan of 'The Ten Commandments' (1956), I am not psyched for this. A director has not been signed. Hopefully they won't cast somebody like Dwayne Johnson or Gerard Butler for the role of Moses. I feel like it would be hard for The Rock to follow up on 'The Tooth Fairy' with something like this.

This is really beginning to depress me. Hollywood's "favorite" damsel in distress is back to her usual tricks. Jennifer Aniston is starring in another lovesick RomCom where she's turned 40 (honestly, how many times can the same person turn 40, especially when she's 80 on the inside?) and given up on personal relationships. However, her next film takes the same predictable and pathetic genre to an all new low. Here is the synopsis on IMDB:

"An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order tobecome pregnant. Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend,who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own."

I think that Jennifer Aniston is on a secret mission to make the world dumber. Either way, the film is to be titled 'The Baster' (yuck), and is slated for release in 2010. Jason Bateman and Jeff Goldblum costar.

I'm not talking about the crazy little bastard in 'Red Dragon'/'Manhunter'. I'm talking about Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. It seems like he's trying to turn into a super-jacked Adam Sandler. Check out the trailer for his new film 'Tooth Fairy' and get ready to laugh your ass off. It's coming out this January, which means that it WILL BE as bad as it looks.

After deciding to push the release for Martin Scorcese's 'Shutter Island' from this past Friday to this coming February (WTF), Paramount has just released a new trailer for the film. I was skeptical about it at first, and was not surprised when the studio decided to push back the theatrical release. I will say that this new trailer is a big step up. The plot's a lot clearer and it doesn't seem like DiCaprio is over-acting quite as much, check it out in HD!

So, last night Lindsay Lohan got kicked out of a hotel. She may eventually have to leave the country if she gets kicked out of anywhere else. After a fight with her on-and-off girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, LiLo threw a room service tray at WHAT SHE THOUGHT was Ronson's hotel room door. Problem is, it wasn't. An unsuspecting hotel guest was staying in the room in question and alerted the manager, who promptly told Lohan to (paraphrased) "GET THE FUCK OUT AND DON'T COME BACK" (sic). This morning, Lohan's TWITTER read:

"Hahahaha my publicist just called me & said she heard I was in apsych ward!!!! Hahaha WHAT IS WRONG with people???? I’m working lol BUT that’s one I’ve NEVER heard about myself before! New ones r alwaysinteresting huh? There’s SO much more going on in the world! Wake up"

Yeah, her family wants her to go back to rehab. Problem is they haven't realized that she's crazy without the coke, too.