You Missed Your Stop

Trust me, you've seen it before. Although the Aniston/Eckhart love-sick rom-com beat out Jennifer's Booty (that's definitely what they'll name the porno-version of the latest Megan Fox crapfest) for 4th place at this weekend's box office, you have no reason to see this movie. After reading all of Jennifer Aniston's recent publicity about being a lonely, needy, clingly, pouty, lovesick, old, jaded, plays-the-same-damn-broad-in-every movie actress, I noticed some amusing descriptions in the Rotten Tomatoes consensus of 'Love Happens':

Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston star in the romantic drama Love Happens. When a self-help author arrives in Seattle to teach a sold-out seminar, he unexpectedly meets the one person who might finally be able to help him help himself. Dr. Burke Ryan (Eckhart) is on the precipice of a major multimedia deal, but the therapist who asks his patients to openly confront their pain is secretly unable to take his own advice.

Eloise Chandler (Aniston) has sworn off men and decided to focus on her floral business. However, when she meets Burke at the hotel where he's speaking, there is an instant attraction. But will two people who have met the right person at exactly the wrong time be able to give love another chance?

As each struggles with the hurt of love and loss, they realize that in order to move forward, they need to let go of the past. And if they can, they'll find that, sometimes, love happens when you least expect it.

In related news, the screenwriters of 'Love Happens', Brandon Camp and Mike Thompson (seriously, guys wrote this?!) have been sued for copyright infringement by every movie ever made.

You heard it. After 2008's tastelessly-mediocre 4th installment in Lucasfilm's 'Indiana Jones' franchise, George, Steve and Harry are at it again. The 67-year old action star has agreed on a storyline with Lucas and Spielberg, and plans to don the whip and fedora in front of the camera once again. The title of the new film will be:

Punk Rocker-chick extraordinaire Avril Lavigne has officially left her husband of three years, Sum 41's Deryck Whibley. It looks like she's been eating her sorrows. What Would Tyler Durden Do? reports:

According to the people at http://www.filmschoolrejects.com, SpiderMan 4 will NOT be shot in IMAX, but will be "remastered" to IMAX quality sound and picture. Sounds like BS to me but whatever, cool, dudes. The movie is set for a May 2011 release.

Most video versions of Kanye's outburst at the VMAs Sunday night have been eradicated from YouTube, so the one below no longer works. HOWEVER, I did find this amusing image of Kanye West on http://www.wwtdd.com

You know you suck when even Barack is calling you a "jackass".

Posted on his blog today:

"I’M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TOHER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD’VESAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADERAND SHE’S IN THE BLEACHERS! …………………… I’M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ONSTAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!…………….. BEYONCE’S VIDEO WAS THEBEST OF THIS DECADE!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!!I’M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW.WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I’M A FANOF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT WE WATCHIN’ THE SHOW AT THECRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE … WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I’M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!!BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TOOUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME… THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I’M NOTCRAZY YALL, I’M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FORTAYLOR AND I’M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!"

This guy either needs to stop smoking crack, or learn how to use a computer.

Sadly Kanye, you didn't let your fans down, because they've come to expect this from you.

Last night at the notorious MTV Video Music Awards, there was quite an incident. While accepting her award for "Best Female Video" (FULL WINNER LIST), Taylor Swift was interrupted by Kanye West. The eccentric MC ranted that Beyonce's video was better, calling it "one of the best videos of all time". The man grabbed the mic from an 18 yr old girl to tell her why she didn't deserve to win. What a deuche. People say that the clothes make the man. But I think Kanye is even deuchier than his shirt, sunglasses, and idiotic haircut alltogether. I think he is in a secret contest to see how many people he can get to hate him. Michael Bay, Carlos Mencia, and Flo, the Progressive Auto Insurance Girl were also contenders at one point, but were definitely left in the dust after last night's extravaganza.

'GAMER' IS HERE.

I don't personally care. The only reason I'm glad about it is that the trailer for this piece-of-crap-to-be starring Gerard Butler won't come before every movie I want to see anymore. Honestly, the most over-advertised movie of the summer is here, and it's just as crappy as it looks. Standing at a noob-ish 22% on Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer, Gamer makes it's debut this weekend, probably to about $28 million. After this, the only thing losers can look forward to is the World of Warcraft movie.

Megan Fox Compares Michael Bay to Hitler

Finally, somebody said it. In a recent interview with Cinematical.com, the actress explains her favorite and least favorite things about working with Michael Bay:

"God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He's like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it's endearing to watch him. He's vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he's a tyrant. Shia and I almost die when we make aTransformers movie. He has you do some really insane things that insurance would never let you do."

'Big Momma's House 3?' No, Thank You.

Martin Lawrence has signed on for the third installment of his successful comedy series about an FBI agent who has to dress as an old fat woman to solve a case. I guess I should have seen this coming given that both previous BMH's have grossed over $130 million and Martin Lawrence's paychecks and overall value as an actor keep going down. Oh well. Honestly though, how could anybody have ever thought these movies would be a good idea? The premise is Martin Lawrence acting like he can act. I don't buy it.

Renting Movies via Youtube?

Google is losing money on Youtube. They should have known that a site that expensive to run (bandwidth is a TON) would be tough to turn a profit with. However, ideas are in the works. Wall Street Journal AND /Film both report that Youtube is trying to work out a deal with movie studios to allow users to rent movies via the website. Price predictions are roughly $4 per movie. More details to follow.

REBOOT = MORE 'FANTASTIC 4' MOVIES... YAY!

Not. Disney (the top grossing studio in the world right now) has just bought out Marvel and guess what's first on their list? If you said 'Spider-Man', that's a good answer... but it's wrong. That's right, first on the agenda for Disney/Marvel studios is a 'Fantastic 4' reboot. I guess they're seeing how many acting careers they can ruin, 4 at a time, plus bad guys.

HAHAHAHAH Kevin Federline Got Fat

Photographic proof courtesy of www.wwtdd.com