You Missed Your Stop

It is in writing. Adrien Brody is set to star in Robert Rodriguez's remake of 'Predator'. You read it right. The film is slated for a release THIS JULY-- I know, it happened fast. For those of you who don't know, Arnold Schwarzennegger played the lead in the original film. Miscast? Probably. Brody is probably one of the puniest-looking actors in Hollywood-- honestly, I think Aaron Carter may have kicked his ass back in the sixth grade. Not only is this dude lanky and weak looking, he is starring in a remake of a film that originally starred Ahnuld, Carl Weathers, and Jesse Ventura. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the other names in that trio, let's just say they did their share of roids. These guys were so jacked and tan in that movie, they probably couldn't get a successful erection for 2 years after its release. The only thing that makes sense about this casting call is the fact that Brody once did a Roman Polanski film and is now set to be in a movie called 'Predator'.

It's a rare treat that I get to talk about Jennifer Aniston and Moses in the same breath, but here it is. 20th Century Fox have acquired the rights to a retelling of the story of Moses. Disturbingly enough, the studio have used the term "300 style" to describe the way in which the film will be shot. As a big fan of 'The Ten Commandments' (1956), I am not psyched for this. A director has not been signed. Hopefully they won't cast somebody like Dwayne Johnson or Gerard Butler for the role of Moses. I feel like it would be hard for The Rock to follow up on 'The Tooth Fairy' with something like this.

This is really beginning to depress me. Hollywood's "favorite" damsel in distress is back to her usual tricks. Jennifer Aniston is starring in another lovesick RomCom where she's turned 40 (honestly, how many times can the same person turn 40, especially when she's 80 on the inside?) and given up on personal relationships. However, her next film takes the same predictable and pathetic genre to an all new low. Here is the synopsis on IMDB:

"An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order tobecome pregnant. Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend,who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own."

I think that Jennifer Aniston is on a secret mission to make the world dumber. Either way, the film is to be titled 'The Baster' (yuck), and is slated for release in 2010. Jason Bateman and Jeff Goldblum costar.

I'm not talking about the crazy little bastard in 'Red Dragon'/'Manhunter'. I'm talking about Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. It seems like he's trying to turn into a super-jacked Adam Sandler. Check out the trailer for his new film 'Tooth Fairy' and get ready to laugh your ass off. It's coming out this January, which means that it WILL BE as bad as it looks.

After deciding to push the release for Martin Scorcese's 'Shutter Island' from this past Friday to this coming February (WTF), Paramount has just released a new trailer for the film. I was skeptical about it at first, and was not surprised when the studio decided to push back the theatrical release. I will say that this new trailer is a big step up. The plot's a lot clearer and it doesn't seem like DiCaprio is over-acting quite as much, check it out in HD!