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We're Back!

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:24:00 -0400

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've actually been in search of legitimate employment, so I had to put off YMYS.com for a little (long) while. Let's go ahead and call it a Sabbatical.

At any rate, I don't have much news or opinion to offer at the moment. However, I would like to share that the title of this long-awaited post was largely inspired by the 1993 BOMB We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story (Image Shown Below).

That's right, it's that movie you begged your parents to go see after they wouldn't let you see Jurassic Park, and then had no idea why they were both in such foul moods after the show. I mean, what could a movie featuring dinosaurs, aliens, magic cereal, and the vocal talents of Jay Leno and Martin Short possibly do to upset anybody?

If you need an idea of how bad this movie really was, consider the fact that it was produced by Spielberg and grossed only $9 million at the box office.

This movie, Jumanji, and anything featuring Leslie Nielsen are all classic examples of those movies you saw when you were too young to tell if something sucked, so you dragged your parents to the multiplex and made them sit through it, and then forced them to listen to your idiotic raves about how great it was for hours after the screening. In fact, if you were a real shit about it, you probably even made them buy you an action figure resembling a character (or six) from the film. Not really sure why I went into all of that, but in short, 'We're Back!'

Look for more posts to come...

New Toy Story 3 Trailer!

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 12:34:00 -0500

http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/toystory3/

The more I see, the more I like. Just when I think Pixar couldn't get any more EPIC (in RE the Best Picture nod for 'Up', only the 3rd animated film to be nominated for the award after Snow White 1937 and Beauty and the Beast 1992), they go and do something like this. I didn't feel too optimistic about this 3rd installment in the Toy Story saga, but this new HD trailer is hysterical. Check it out.

In the next few days I plan on seeing each of the 10 best picture nominees, so look for a report on that.

*Up for Best Picture*

Worst Movie of January!

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 10:36:00 -0500

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've actually had to get a new computer recently because my old one died.

Without further ado, it's February 1st, WHICH MEANS ONLY ONE THING-- January is over. January is the worst movie month of the year, it's the month where the studio execs release all of their movies that made them say "so much for that $50 million". January used to share these rights with August, but then people realized that good movies can still come out because it's still summer. Anyway, here are my final rankings for WORST MOVIE OF JANUARY 2010!

5. Extraordinary Measures

Mostly for the casting combo of Brendan Fraser and Harrison Ford, 'Measures' sounds absolutely God-awful. However, the fact that it's based on a true story about cancer makes me feel kind of guilty for giving it a higher (or lower, for that matter) ranking on this list. At any rate, $6 million at the box office its first week and a half should speak for itself. I would rather eat paint chips than watch this movie.

The Numbers:

30% on RT Tomatometer

$6mil box office

4. When in Rome

Kristen Bell was on the way up in Hollywood, but then she did a movie with the collective sinking ship that is Will Arnet, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, and Danny DeVito. 'When in Rome' is about a woman... who goes to Rome, and is 'fed up' with love. Surprise. She finds a fountain and mistakenly steals a magical coin from it, and then attracts the love of the several 'suitors', all mentioned above. Imagining any of those men in any kind of romantic setting is enough to make me... I don't know. Anyway, when Josh Duhamel arrives (I feel like he has become a go-to actor for January cast listings), Kristen Bell can't decide if this love is part of the curse or the real thing. I would rather drink a bottle of Nyquil and Dayquil at the same time than pay to see this movie.

The Numbers

20% RT Tomatometer

$12.5mil box office

3. The Tooth Fairy

The Rock-- check. Combat boots-- check. Embarrassing fish-out-of-water fantasy comedy tale storyline-- check. Obnoxious tagline involving dated expression and play on words-- CHECK. 'The Tooth Fairy' has been a longtime favorite for the crown in this race, but has lost out to a few more deserving competitors. Bottom line, we've come to expect this crap from The Rock, plus I get the feeling that this movie doesn't take itself as seriously as the next two. With that said, I would rather wear male Uggz than see this movie.

The Numbers

15% on RT Tomatometer

$26mil box office

2. Legion

This movie slipped in under the radar, but a last minute ad-sweep involving a trailer with people crawling around like retarded spiders and the poster above with an angel holding an uzi have convinced me that this has got to be one of the worst movies of the year. Watch the trailer at http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/legion/. If you're still not convinced, it has Dennis Quaid and Tyrese in it. I would rather eat the OLD Dominos pizza than watch this movie.

The Numbers

19% RT Tomatometer

$28mil box office

1. The Spy Next Door

Jackie Chan. Billy Ray Cyrus. George Lopez. It's become easy to pick on Jackie, so I feel bad but he's honestly asking for it with this one. A US government spy is asked to babysit the kids next door. When one of them unlocks a secret government code, the Feds come after them and it's up to Jackie Chan to stop them. Note the tagline: "Spying is easy. Babysitting is hard." I would rather have Jackie Chan be my actual babysitter than watch this movie.

The Numbers

8% RT Tomatometer

$18mil Box Office

The DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:22:00 -0500

I saw this today at Barnes & Noble and it made me laugh:

There's nothing particularly funny about the Sarah Michelle Gellar collection. She's nothing special but every actor has their fanbase. What made it funny was the sale sticker that the people at Barnes & Noble put on the box said "The DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar Collection".

THE DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar Collection. It is DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar. If you want to see Sarah Michelle Gellar in her finest form, get THE DEFINITIVE Sarah Michelle Gellar Collection.

STFU Kate Hudson

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 08:53:00 -0500

It's that time in October (and by that I mean November), and that means the Yankees are fingering themselves at the thought of adding yet another world series to their collection. According to New York gossip column PageSix, the wives and girlfriends of several Yankees have been asked to keep quiet about Kate Hudson. The blonde film star has been going out with A-Rod for roughly a year now and has been pissing off the rest of the Bronx Bombshells ever since with her idiotic antics in the Groupie VIP Box and her moronic celebrations in light of A-Rod's performances on-field. The tension between her and the rest of the Yankee (club)housewives has reached a point where the Yankee organization has specifically asked the women to not comment to any journalists of any kind... but I'll still write about it.